To wait or not to wait

How many of you have compromised on your expectations that you had set before you got married? Ever wondered why? Were the expectations realistic?

In the course of a conversation with a friend yesterday, she lamented how women seem to want to wait forever a certain Mr. Right. Waiting makes some sense and this is how it probably should be. You cannot and should not spend the rest of your life with the wrong person. However, the question remains “In the quest for perfection, are you missing out on the gems who could become the perfect diamonds with a wee bit of polishing?

@flirtingshadows offers a different opinion:

While some of my friends would agree that waiting for a certain Mr. Right is worth the while, I’m not really sure how it works. Is there a mental and/or approximate timeline as to how long one waits for and then readily accepts anyone that comes along beyond that deadline? Or does one wait indefinitely? Can we be as clinical and removed about it? The answers don’t come easy. But I know intuition does. Instincts do.

Most of my gal pals will agree that their intuition and instincts haven’t let them down. I have also been informed, or advised if you will, that at some point we will meet individuals whom we can bond with, for the rest of our lives. There will be that feeling of “Yes, I could possibly spend my entire life with this man. He is smart, he makes me laugh. Also cooks decently.” That I have been told is affirmation enough. And polished, unpolished, gem, no-gem; all these thoughts fly out of the window.

You might call it waiting. I call it leading life nonchalantly. Yes, I often stay up nights, pondering over the how and when and the finer points of it all. But I also know that when things have to fall, they just will. Your expectations (realistic or unrealistic) can only take you so far. The rest you’ve got to leave to the master plan of the universe.

Thank you @flirtingshadows. 🙂

I also often stay up nights thinking about these things. But I always fall asleep with the thought that tomorrow is a brand new day. Let us see what the master plan of the universe has in store for me.

14 thoughts on “To wait or not to wait

  1. Narayan Iyer

    @flirtingshadows Everything seems to alright but when did “Decent Cooking” got into the list of Mr Right’s Capability!!!!!!!!

  2. Ruchira

    Well honestly there is nothing like the Perfect Man or the Perfect Woman. We just need to see what we like in the person and frankly get used to what we may not like! I guess we do that in all relationships.. even our best friends may have things that we don’t like ! But there is a difference between getting used to a few dissimilarities and spending your life adjusting and accommodating. Adjusting and accommodating all your life is so not worth it!
    And as for mental timelines ..seriously it’s all in the mind. IMHO there is no fixed age for finding the right partner .. you may find him/her in your 20s or in your 40s. Does it really matter!
    As @flirtingshadows. puts it so well it’s not waiting .. Its living your life nonchalantly!
    Live, laugh enjoy what you have and be sure that the universe has great things planned for you ! That is the way I try to live!

    1. Harish aka Harry

      Interesting. Would want to touch upon the point where you mentioned about the the wait till 40. In our society, the more you reach closer to 30’s the more pressure builds up. Do you think then the pressure starts influencing your decisions and your thought process?

      Nice to see you after a long time. 🙂

  3. Narayan Iyer

    Well if we talk abt Perfect match then it is something that u can make it happen!!! i mean u really like this guy/girl but there are SOME features that u dont like abt him/her …..that does not mean he/she cannot be ur perfect match!!! Being honest and a open talk can absolutely solve this issue in fact this can be better . He/She will be always aware of UR likes dislikes and treat u accordingly!!! But i am sayin all this is applicable only if the first condition is satisfied (IF U REALLY LIKE SOMEONE).

    1. Harish aka Harry

      Agree! Honesty and understanding are the key words here. But, I still want to ask you. How much do you think will one have to sacrifice to find that perfect thing. Also how many are willing to bow down?

  4. megzone

    agreee with @flirtingshadows… when it has to happen it does happen and it will happen..
    some call it waiting.. i call it not bothering abt smthing thats not in my hands 🙂

    There are somethings that are simply not in your hands.. for evrything else you have the remote control in your hand.. you can change your career, your outlook, you physical appearances, character, behaviour everything.. but when it comes to matters of heart there is a completely different law governing it and that is def not in our hands..
    So its better to leave it to destiny..

    well there are also plenty others who wud say go along kissing frogs – u never knw which one is ur prince.. Well i wud agree to that.. but provided your instinct/intuition tells you this guy seems he cud be IT.. go ahead give it a try..
    Else there is no point burning fingers repeatedly 🙂
    might as well wait for the signal from the universe than waste the tears, efforts and time kissing wrong frogs 😛

    1. crimsonshadows

      My favorite bit:

      “There are somethings that are simply not in your hands.. for evrything else you have the remote control in your hand.. you can change your career, your outlook, you physical appearances, character, behaviour everything..”


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *